


All Creatures

by canthelpmyselves



Series: DC vs Marvel [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm obsessed, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-10-19 21:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17609732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canthelpmyselves/pseuds/canthelpmyselves
Summary: A bunch of short dabbles featuring Barry living in the MCU.





	1. Birds of a Feather

“Barry?”

“Yes, Clint?”

“There’s a baby chicken on your couch.”

“Actually, it’s a peacock chick.”

“Why is there a peacock chick on your couch?”

“I rescued it from a stray cat.”

“It’s. On. Your. Couch.”

“Where else could I take it? The mommy was dead and the animal shelter said they would have to euthanize it.”

Clint paused and took a good look at Barry. He looked kind of heartbroken over that idea. Okay, no. It wasn’t fair that the shy speedster could look that adorable! However, the fact remained, the tower was no place for a peacock chick. Where else could it go? 

“Okay, maybe Tony can send it to his Malibu house,” he suggested.

“The one the Ten Rings blew up?” Barry asked wryly.

“What about Pepper’s family home? Didn’t she grow up in the country?”

“She told me she grew up in a commune. It was bought up years ago and is now a golf course.”

“Barry, peacocks can’t live indoors,” he pointed out.

“I know that,” Barry said with an eye roll. “Bruce’s friend, Hank, is coming for it Sunday. He’s taking it to the Xavier School for Gifted Children.”

“Oh, good,” he said, relieved. “Cause a peacock’s cry is mind-numbingly horrible.”

Barry grinned as he grabbed his coat and headed out of the suite for the SHIELD debriefing. “You’re just jealous of there being a second bird in the tower. Don’t worry, Hawkeye, you’re still the favorite.”

Clint suppressed the childish urge to stuck his tongue out at Barry as they headed for the elevator. (Okay, no he didn't.)


	2. Constrictor

Steve was just sitting down with a bowl of Lucky Charms and a glass of apple juice when a high-pitched shriek filled the air. Seconds later both Pepper and Tony came sprinting into the room, looking horrified. Steve grabbed his shield and stepped forward, looking around them alertly. 

“Pepper? Are you okay?”

“That was Tony,” she gasped, clutching at her stomach with one arm, while tugging her other from Tony’s death-grip. 

Tony looked offended for a moment before apparently deciding his safety was more important than his manliness. “Jarvis! Evacuate the tower and burn it to the ground!” he ordered. “And send me the Mark XXIX!”

Steve’s jaw dropped at the seemingly extreme order while Pepper spun and slapped Tony’s chest. “It’s one snake! You don’t have to destroy the building, Tony! Call an exterminator!”

“How did a snake get onto the 87th floor of a tower in the middle of Manhattan?” Steve asked.

“Um, I heard screaming,” Barry said as he entered the kitchen from the hallway. “I don’t suppose it has anything to do with boa about this long?” he asked holding his hands about four feet apart.

“Oh god!” Tony yelped. “Did it bite you? I can’t suck out venom, Barry! You’re hot, like _really_ hot, but no, just no.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at the speedster. “A boa?”

Barry nodded, looking around the base boards. “Thor asked me to snake-sit. Apparently even without hands Loki is cunning enough to escape his cage.”

“That monstrosity is Loki?!” Tony demanded.

Barry nodded as he headed to the sitting area. “A spell gone wrong, it seems. Thor went back to Asgard to find the counter spell.”

“And you let it into my home?” Tony hissed. “Jarvis! Where’s my suit?!”

Barry looked up long enough to roll his eyes. “He’s harmless, Tony. Boas aren’t poisonous. They’re constrictors.” Barry knelt down in front of the large sofa and huffed. “There you are. Come on, Loki. I have some nice mice for you.”

Pepper gave a surprised snort at the unintentional rhyme while Tony muttered under his breath about new boots. Steve set his shield down beside his rapidly disintegrating breakfast and pinched the bridge of his nose. Soon Barry was leaving with the snake curled around his left arm. Steve was willing to swear the thing smirked at Tony.


	3. Meow

Rhodey banged his empty tissue box on the coffee table sullenly. A couple of seconds later a new one was set in front of him, as well as a couple of Benadryl and some tea. He wanted to glare at his caretaker but his eyes were too puffy and teary. He had to settle for sneezing on him.

“I’m really sorry,” Barry said sadly.

So, turns out that the cat that killed the peacock mommy was going to be a mommy herself. With colder weather coming, Barry thought the humane thing to do was bring her home with him until she gave birth, then find her and the kittens a home. Too bad he didn’t bother to mention his plan to anyone else, since both Rhodey and Steve were allergic to cat hair. 

“Ith’s okay, ‘Arry,” Steve slurred. “For a good causth.”

Rhodey sent his teary-not-quite-a-glare toward Steve. Too bad the super soldier was too far away to be sneezed on. 

Once their allergies manifested, the young man had been horribly guilt-ridden (good!) and quickly sent the momma-to-be home with Happy (better!). A cleaning crew was currently trying to get rid the tower of all evidence of the animal, but until every speck of dander was gone, Rhodey and Steve were basically quarantined in Bruce’s lab, since it was the cleanest place.

“Thith ith why dogs manth beth friend,” Rhodey mumbled, reaching for another tissue.

Barry had spent the entire day hovering around the two men, offering continuous cups of tea, soup, tissues and apologies. Rhodey tried to stay mad, but he couldn’t deny that having Barry wait on them, hand and foot, was pretty damn sweet revenge.


	4. Baby Hulk

“No! Absolutely not! You put that right back where you found it, mister!”

Everyone heard Natasha yelling over the comms. Steve looked around the area worriedly. “Black Widow, is there a problem?”

With the battle over, she had gone to bring Hulk back from where he had chased a tank while the others corralled the remaining HYDRA agents. “Not yet, Cap,” she snapped. “Hulk! I said no! Put it down! I don’t care if it is your color!”

A roar sounded from the dense forest behind the jet, but it sounded more annoyed than angry.

“It is NOT a baby Hulk!” Natasha argued. “You can’t just take things from their tree!”

Tony snorted as he flipped up his visor. “Hundred bucks says he found a coconut and thinks it’s a Hulk egg.”

Heavy footsteps shook the ground and they all turned toward the forest. Soon the Hulk came into view, clutching something to his chest tightly. Right behind him ran Natasha, looking surprisingly winded and, more surprisingly, kind of flustered. 

“Someone tell him he can’t keep that!” she ordered.

Steve sighed and stepped into the Hulk’s path. “Hey, Hulk. What did you find, buddy?”

Hulk eyed him carefully before slowly squatting down and lowering his hands. A sleepy sloth looked out at them before rolling over and beginning to slowly crawl across Hulk’s palm. “Baby Hulk,” the big green guy said proudly. “Barry like.”

Clint dragged a hand down his face as Tony began to snicker. So it wasn’t just Barry who couldn’t resist an animal, but Jade Jaws, as well. 

“Hairy like puny Banner, but green like Hulk,” the Hulk said with a proud grin. “Baby Hulk. Give to Barry. Present.”

Steve sighed and began explaining the difference between a sloth and the Hulk. Clint sat down on a crate and pulled out a deck of cards. Natasha and Tony soon joined him. They were going to be there a while.


	5. Sleipnir

“Hello, peons.”

Everyone jumped to their feet, kitchen chairs falling aside. Tony opened his mouth to snap orders to Jarvis. Barry jumped back to get some room, preparing to tap into his speed. Thor held out a hand, calling for Mjolnir. Bruce was already beginning to turn green. Steve slipped into a defensive stance. Natasha and Clint grabbed cutlery from the table, perfectly capable of inflicting grievous harm with only a cheese knife if necessary.

Loki smirked and waved a hand in the air, freezing everyone in place. “Now, now,” he taunted. “Where’s your Midgardian hospitality?” He tsk’d and walked around the table so he could stand in front of Barry. “Just the man I was looking for,” he purred. He placed a hand on Barry’s shoulder and held up a small candle. He blew on it and the wick caught fire, then they vanished in a flash of golden light.

The spell dropped as soon as Loki and Barry were gone. Thor’s hammer crashed through a wall to get to him, but otherwise no one moved for several seconds. Suddenly Tony grabbed his scotch glass and threw it against a wall. “That bastard!” he shouted. “He took Barry!”

Steve turned to Thor quickly. “Can you find him?”

Thor nodded, a determined look on his face. “That portal candle, it is of Asgard. He has taken our friend to our realm.”

“Everyone suit up as fast as you can,” Steve growled. “We’re going to Asgard!”

* * *

“LOKI! REVEAL YOURSELF!” Thor bellowed as the team ran into the royal garden.

“This time, I’m gonna kill him,” Clint growled under his breath, but still loud enough for the team to pick up. 

“Hey guys,” Barry said with a smile as he stepped around a couple of women in robes. “What are you doing here?”

“Barry!” Steve ran forward and placed his hands on the other man’s shoulders. “Are you hurt? We’re here to rescue you!” Tony quickly elbowed Cap out of the way so he could check Barry for injuries.

Barry blinked at them a couple of times before huffing. He turned to look back behind him. “Loki! You promised to send them a message!”

The god of mischief stepped into view, holding a goblet. “I did. I sent a dove not an hour ago.”

An older woman with beautiful brunette curls moved to stand beside Loki and smacked him on the arm. “Son, you know a dove could never reach Midgard!”

Loki smirked and shrugged. “I said I would send word. I never said how long it would take or that it would be successful.”

This time she slapped Loki on the back of his head. Barry turned back to his friends and smiled sheepishly. “I’m fine,” he told them. He looked around him, drawing the team’s attention to the rather large gathering of men and women. 

“Loki kidnapped you FOR A PARTY?!” Tony snapped.

“Of course not!” Loki sneered. “I brought him here because Sleipnir was behaving oddly. Congratulate me, Brother. It’s a joyous occasion!”

Barry nodded as he absentmindedly accepted a goblet from a pretty young woman in a lilac robe. “In about two months, I think.” Noticing the confusion on most of the team’s faces, Barry shrugged. “Loki was so comfortable when I took care of him, he thought I could help Sleipnir. Sleipnir is a horse.”

Natasha stepped closer to Barry, eyes narrowed. “Loki kidnapped you to doctor his horse?” she hissed. Barry nodded and she grabbed his goblet, downing it in one long gulp. She shoved the goblet back into his hand and stomped off, a string of Russian curse words trailing from her mouth.

Barry turned to Clint apologetically. “Sorry.”

Clint sighed and waved him off. “I’ll calm her down.” He shook his head and slung his bow across his back. Only Barry Allen could turn a kidnapping by a demented god into an episode of All Creatures Great and Small.

* * *

“Hey.”

Barry looked over his shoulder and smiled in greeting. “Good morning, Tony.”

The genius walked further into the stable and looked at the sleek black horse curiously. “Um, am I imagining it, or does that thing have extra legs?”

Barry nodded as he turned back to the horse. “This is Sleipnir. She’s Loki’s daughter.”

“Is that like a metaphor or something?” Tony asked.

Barry chuckled and fed the horse the last piece of apple before turning fully to face his friend. “No. Loki is a shape-shifter. He turned himself into a mare and mated with a steed. Sleipnir is their offspring.” Seeing the dawning horror in the older man’s face, Barry shrugged. “Not my place to judge. I’m just here to make sure she’s healthy.”

“You’re not a vet,” Tony pointed out.

“I worked in an animal shelter all through high school and college and I picked up a few things,” Barry replied. “Plus, I love animals. They don’t judge. They don’t bear grudges. They either love you or hate you, and which one you receive usually depends on which one you give.”

Tony stared at Barry for a long moment before inching closer. “Barry, I’m going to do something either really, really bad or really, really good,” he warned.

The speedster frowned slightly. “What?”

“Kiss you,” Tony answered. He was encouraged when Barry didn’t try to stop him. He pressed his lips to Barry’s slightly chapped ones and almost immediately melted. Barry tasted like honey and a hint of citrus. He reluctantly pulled back and looked into Barry’s eyes, trying to gauge his response.

Barry licked his lips and quickly reached up to cup Tony’s cheeks, initiating a second kiss. This one was deeper, more intimate, and when it ended, both men were breathing heavily.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a very long time, and well, thinking Loki had kidnapped you, possibly tortured you, made me realize I was wasting time by keeping my feelings to myself,” Tony whispered huskily.

“Thank god,” Barry said gently. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for months.”

Tony grinned and wrapped his arms around Barry’s waist. “Can I take you out when we get home? Dinner? Maybe a show?”

Barry blushed and nodded. “I’d like that.”


	6. Funny Little Rats

“You know I hate you all, right?” Sam asked in a surprisingly calm voice.

“Sam, you’re the only one who can do this,” Steve said tiredly.

“No, seriously,” Sam said, turning to look at Steve, Tony and Clint. “Hate. All of you. You’re going to owe me forever. Longer than forever. Like for the rest of my life I get free tech upgrades whenever I want them. And foot rubs!”

“Done,” Tony said immediately, stepping out of his damaged armor. “I call dibs on the tech. Clint can handle foot rubs.”

“Why do I have to do the foot rubs?” Clint whined. “I told you all to make sure Jade Jaws wasn’t left alone!”

“Guys,” Steve groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can we all just agree that this needs to be done as fast as possible before...”

“Hulk like funny little rats,” the giant green hero said happily as he turned to the group. He held out his arms, showing them the dozen or so macaque that were climbing all over his body, eating the granola bars the team usually kept on hand for when Barry needed food. 

Barry, who had apparently reverted to the state of ‘man-child’, was sitting Hulk’s shoulder, stroking the fur of whichever macaque was within reach. “Aww, come one, guys! Why can’t we keep one? Just a little one? He can be the team mascot! Tony could even build him an itty-bitty suit!”

Sam sighed heavily and expanded his wings. “You just keep him from killing me,” he demanded before launching into the air.

It wasn’t easy keeping the Hulk from slapping Sam out of the air as he swooped and startled the monkeys away. Barry was rolling on the ground, laughing uncontrollably as Hulk called for his ‘funny little rats’. Everyone agreed, though, it was better to deal with a sullen Hulk than risk Pepper’s wrath if they brought klepto monkeys back to New York.


	7. Benched

When the Assemble alarm went off Barry immediately ordered Jarvis to shut down the treadmill and save the data, then zipped to the elevator. By the time it stopped on the common floor, he had already sped into his suit and was about to pull up his cowl.

“Whoa!” Tony said, his armor automatically closing in around him. “You’re staying here, Speedy.”

Barry frowned as he looked at the team. “What?”

Steve cleared his throat and ran an hand over his neck awkwardly. “You can’t come,” he said, sounding apologetic but firm. 

“You don’t need me?” Barry asked curiously.

“Can’t risk it,” Tony quipped. “Bruce is staying, too.”

Bruce gave him a small smile. “We’re benched, apparently.”

Confused, Barry turned to Clint who sighed and shook his head. “Aliens. About waist high, fuzzy, sparkly, ferret looking aliens. You and Hulk will want to keep one. Or two. Maybe a dozen.”

Barry rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Guys...”

“Jarvis, viewer,” Tony called out, interrupting Barry. 

A holoscreen lit up and showed an army of three foot tall creatures scurrying around Central Park on their back legs. Barry looked at them closely, noting the soft-looking, incandescent fur, the shiny, black eyes and the long, fluffy tails. Not even the wicked looking weapons in their sharp claws could diminish the cuteness. He grimaced and began heading back to the elevator, Bruce keeping pace beside him.

“Point taken,” he replied. “Call when you’re done and we’ll order in pizzas.”


	8. Gonna Need A Bigger Boat

“Tony, we need to talk,” Phil said, walking into the penthouse with a resolute expression. 

Tony lifted one eyebrow and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I didn’t break it, and even if I did, I paid for it, so technically, it’s mine.”

Phil blinked a couple of times before narrowing his eyes. “Broke what?”

Tony plastered an innocent expression on his face. “Did I say broke? Nothing’s broke. Everything’s fine. Why? What have you heard?”

Phil exhaled heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s Barry,” he grumbled.

Tony tensed up. “Oh god. No! Nonononono! The last time one of you made me get rid of one of Barry’s pets I slept alone for a week! You be the bad guy for once!”

"Barry hasn't gotten a new pet,” Phil clarified. “Yet.”

“Yet?”

“Do you know where your boyfriend and science bro are?” Phil asked.

“Lab?”

“Guess again.”

Tony sighed. “Jarvis? Where are they?”

“Dr. Banner and Mr. Allen are in Brooklyn, sir. Coney Island, to be specific.”

Phil smirked. “More specifically?”

Tony could swear Jarvis sighed before answering. “The New York Aquarium, Agent Coulson.”

Tony paled. “Oh god. Please tell me they’re not bringing back a shark!”

= = =

Barry snickered as Tony shot him a weak glare. “I can’t believe you actually thought we were going to steal a shark.”

“Shut up,” Tony mumbled, plopping down on the couch and face-planting in Barry’s lap. “With you and Bruce, anything is possible.”

“Where would we even keep it?” Barry laughed, threading his fingers through Tony’s hair.

“Ummm…”

Barry looked down at his boyfriend curiously. “Tony?”

“Shut up,” Tony mumbled again.

“Would now be a good time to mention that Sir may have created a few designs aimed at turning the 92nd floor into a large glass tank?” Jarvis asked innocently.

“Jarvis, you traitor!” Tony yelped.

Barry reached down and lifted Tony until they were eye to eye. His hazel green eyes were soft with affection. “You would have built us a shark tank, wouldn’t you?” he asked softly.

Tony blushed and scooted until he was straddling Barry’s long legs. “Maybe,” he sheepishly admitted. 

Barry smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to Tony’s lips. “Best boyfriend, ever.”

“Damn right,” Tony said proudly.


	9. Banana

Barry stared at the little bowl happily. 

“So, have you decided on a name?” Tony asked, snuggling into Barry’s side on the sofa. 

“Banana,” Barry answered.

“Huh?”

Barry shrugged and wrapped an arm around Tony waist, pulling him closer. “He’s kind of greenish-yellow, thin and long. He’s like a little baby banana.”

Tony snorted as they watched the litte betta fish swim around in it’s new home. The whole team had spent the weekend in Ohio, volunteering at the Children’s Hospital for the Make A Wish Foundation. On their last day, they had visited a country fair since Thor had never been to one. Deep fried food, rickety rides and long lines had been surprisingly fun when they were with each other. Near the end of the day they had tried their hand at a few games. Barry won Tony a gigantic stuffed unicorn at the ring toss game. He had won Barry a betta fish at the dart toss game. They ended the day by sitting for a caricature that was now hanging on Barry’s wall in a pretty silver frame Pepper bought them.

“Love you,” Tony said softly, turning to look at Barry. 

“Love you, too,” Barry answered happily.


End file.
